We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Love Dare #10 Sweet Somethings

Heart shaped coral Hubby and I found on the beach

DARE 10: Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse- something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.

I am seeing more and more as I go through these dares how Hubby does most of these on his own ever since we first got married! Very humbling, as I'm only now looking in detail at my own actions and reactions in our marriage. He definitely does something 'just because' at least once a week. And that's at the very least. Usually it's 3 times or more that I find a pleasant surprise in the morning: The dishwasher running and the sink cleaned or Baby Boy happy and dry in his room (Hubby having changed his soggy night time diaper before leaving for work), etc. And he always makes a full pot of coffee in the morning, drinking his half and leaving the rest warming in the carafe for me to stumble into the kitchen and find an hour later with a toddler in tow.

Well, because of a busy day, I never got around to reading this dare and remembered at the last minute. Oops! I read it right before bed and then determined to complete it the next day, but was at a loss for what to do. Really, what could I do? I do most of the household things, happily, I might add, it's part of my awesome job :). But on those mornings when a sparkling sink (that I didn't have to scrub) greets me, I count my blessings. Hubby works all day too, after all, and is wonderful about doing his chores. So when he takes on a little extra in our home, it's makes me feel like a kid with a huge chunk of homework done! I use that extra time just for me, either reading, working on crafts or watching a movie while Baby Boy naps, because I know that's how Hubby intended it. He was trying to give me a break and I always appreciate it! Anyway, back to the dare. I set my alarm and had my plan in place.

I beat Hubby to the coffee pot in the morning and he looked at me oddly but smoothly walked down the hall to Baby Boy's room and soon I heard a cheery "Good morning, Daddy!" followed by lilting toddler conversation about everything fascinating in the world. He was changing Baby Boy's diaper. No fair! I seemed to be handling this with all thumbs. The thing was to show him unexpected and unconditional love, not to get him to take on one of my morning jobs! Neither of us see taking care of our son a chore, but the point was to get Hubby to relax and feel special. So, I didn't feel like just making the coffee made much of an impact. I waited around and when the coffee was ready, made both our cups. Yay! That was good because Hubby is self appointed coffee maker, he loves to make mine exactly how I like it and bring it to me as I'm getting ready. Sweet man. So I was able to show my appreciation for him this morning, even though I sheepishly asked him how many sugars was it again? And then as we sipped on our coffee and Baby Boy ate breakfast, I watched Hubby's cup like my life depended on it and offered him more coffee when it was empty. The look on his face was amused and curious but his tone was very obviously pleased, whether at my offer to get it or the possibility of more coffee, I can't say. You see, Hubby is self appointed coffee refiller as well. So, I proudly brought him his second cup and we snuggled on the couch as Baby Boy periodically snuggled with us or played with his toys on the carpet. I think it's safe to declare this as a success! And it made me feel more tender towards Hubby, too. Because I realized how many little things he does for me all week long. I'm just catching up, but I'm finally catching on :)

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