DARE 13: Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.
Hubby was very agreeable and willing to talk about this. I'm continually amazed at how the Lord is using this study to better our relationship! We made a list of rules for future use and I'm feeling unexpectedly relieved and more prepared. Every couple has disagreements, and I remember us making a similar list when we first got married, but we've both ignored the set guidelines at times.
Here are a few of the ones we've decided on:
-We will not bring up unrelated things from the past.
-We will not use absolutes. Eg: You always do this... I never get to do this..."
The list has more rules, but that's just a peek. I don't want to influence anyone else who may be participating. The rules need to be personalized for your particular relationship. As it is, Hubby and I are confident in our new rules and even though we hope to never need them, at least when we do, we'll be prepared to fight fair. Instead of arguments tearing us apart slowly they can be a constructive way to air disagreements, forgive and move on as a stronger couple.